Bereaved mothers and grandmothers tell us that Mother’s Day can be a particularly difficult day for them, as it can increase feelings of isolation for many.
With Mother’s Day approaching, we understand that this can be a difficult time for mums and anyone affected by the death of a baby. We are here to support you.
“We know from bereaved families that days like Mother’s Day can be full of mixed emotions. The run-up to special days can be worrying for mothers, fathers and relatives who have experienced the death of a baby and it may be difficult to open up conversations that may cause upset, so many people need help to express how they feel and what they need.
“In these uncertain times, our Helpline and Online Community are vital in keeping bereaved families connected by offering a safe, confidential and compassionate space to talk.
“I would encourage anyone who has been affected to remember that Sands has a safe space in its online community and Facebook group where there are other bereaved parents online who know how you feel and want to offer support."
Maria Huant, Bereavement Support Services Manager at Sands
Ideas on self care around Mother's Day
Mother's Day can be full of grief if your baby has died. It may be that your last mother's day was spent in expectant joy during your pregnancy, or that you imagined you would hold him or her this year and celebrate with friends and family.
You may be surrounded by others who celebrate with their children or wonder whether you are thought of as a mother by people around you. Whether you miss your baby or the role you would have in his or her life, Sands knows you are a parent is here for you.
Below are some helpful ways to get through the day:
1. Take it one day (or even hour) at a time. The anticipation of a big day can worry you, but you may find that small things can get you through the day itself.
2. Plan things to do that will help you feel connected to your baby. You are a parent and your bond with them, whether they are here or not, is something to be celebrated
3. Think of someone you can call if you feel sad in advance of the day and ask them to be available for you.
4. Connect safely with nature by going for a walk or appreciating . Many parents feel their baby's presence in wildlife and plants, which are starting to blossom and can be comforting to be around.
5. Write down how you feel and make this a part of your memory box or baby keepsakes. You can add this to a Mother's Day card to yourself or a partner and it will be a memory of how you kept you baby or babies in mind on special days.
6. Use our Online Support channels. Join our Online Community or Facebook Support Group, which provide safe spaces for bereaved parents to connect with each other and share their feelings 24 hours a day.
Ways you can help support others
Mother’s Day can be a time when feelings about being a mother or father to a baby who is not here combine to affect the self-esteem and confidence of those who are grieving. The day might feel even tougher if you can’t be physically close to people or places that mean a lot to you.
Talking and writing down how you feel can help make sense of things. If you are a relative or friend, letting a bereaved parent know you are thinking of them can go a long way in breaking down isolation, so why not send them a card from our new range to show them you are thinking of them.
The support we offer
Our confidential helpline - 0808 164 3332 or firstname.lastname@example.org - provides a safe place for bereaved parents and anyone affected by the death of a baby to seek comfort and support. Our experienced bereavement support services team are there to listen to any feelings and experiences that bereaved families want to share.
Sands’ Bereavement Support Book provides advice, help and support for bereaved families and each section focuses on a specific subject. This section is particularly useful to grandparents.
For details of other ways we can support you, including our bereavement support book and app, visit our bereavement support page.